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I do hope that you were sitting down
when you received this issue!
I know it may have come as a shock,
but think about this - no one was as shocked as me! But seriously
folks, it has been a hard slog to try and catch up, but as we have
now (or rather me), we will try and get the mag out to you as fast
as possible.
Additions? I hope also, that you liked the new
pictures from our man in the States, Eric Freimanis. I like to add a
bit of variety and Eric has certainly done this without doubt - nice
one mate! We have just been accepted to cover the Olympia and Eric
is flying out to cover the show - hopefully, we will have all
pictures by the time you have got this. If we are late, well at
least we will have covered it - it’s a first for the good old NO
BULL Collection.
My good old mate, NO BULL
original cartoonist, Tony (Fuckface) Neighbour gave me
a call the other week and told me the reason that he had been away
for so long. His little boy, Sam, had been ill with a variety of
frightening problems but is now on the mend - thank God. We have
dearly missed old Tony here, especially me, and I look forward to
publishing the man’s totally SICK sense of humour in the up and
coming issues. Nice to have to back with us mate, but it must be
awful for you living south of Watford - our northern hearts and flat
caps go out to you. We have gas here in the North now you
know?
RADIO FAME - again!
Don’t know whether you
heard me on the radio on September 22nd (or thereabouts), it was one
of those “althtetic season” steroid question-type programs that
usually crop up especially when the Olympics are on or looming.
Anyway, the usual questions were asked, “do you actually believe
that British athletes are on steroids....” and so on, etc etc. My
usual returned serves were put into action, and as usual, returned
unlistened to. However, one question was asked me that was not
usual. It was regarding steroids and their point in law AND whether
or not they should be put into the same category as the hardest
drugs, i.e. heroin, cocaine etc - Category A!
I gave my
answer to which they did not broadcast, so I will give it to them
here in the NO BULL - my way.
Answer it yourself after reading
this! How many steroids make you as high as heroin or coke? In a
straight race, how many would die of heroin usage as opposed to
steroids? How many HAVE died of hard drugs as opposed to steroids
-honestly? To put steroids in the SAME category as the harder drugs
would be the mistake of the century. Why? Well, for instance, a shot
of sustanon is about a fiver -yeah? OK, organised crime moves in on
an even BIGGER scale simply because would be more illegal -what
happens - that shot goes up to more like fifty quid per shot. More
problems, more counterfiets, even MORE problems like we would have
ever seen.
They cannot see it can they. Most steroids are
counterfiet anyway, so they are barking up a wrong tree to start
with.
DISGUSTING NO BULL MAGAZINE PICS - again?
We
have had loads of kind comments about the NO BULL mag - thanks for
that people, it is really what keeps us going. That’s really true
because there ain’t no fucking money in this game I can tell ya.
However, it seems that we have also had a few comments from a few
ladies about some of the pictures that we have had in. I think that
they made them a little, well, er uneasy is a good word. Now then,
do you LADIES really REALLY honestly say that because your lives are
so boring? Is it that your lives are so, well, low down simply
because you just DON’T have a laugh? Awww, c’mon, it must be. Also,
what does your husband do to make you feel horny? It has gotta be
something nice and wierd - if not, it cannot be fun can it
really.
Bet you have a bodypart pierced. Why not pierce your
lips - both sets, that would do us all a favour - try a staple gun!
As for the rolling pin picture? Well don’t worry, you don’t have to
do that really - or do you? Or have you? Or was it you in the
picture you little scamp? Nice arse anyhow!! Now please FUCK OFF
back to your Vegan, possible single, definitely celibate,
greenpeace, nun-like, non-smoking, non drinking, no wanking, no
tit-fuck mate but use-me-arse-tonight - please love sort of boring
life and let US get on with taking the piss out of the rest of life
itself. Why I hear you ask? Well, it is ALL a fucking joke anyway
and IF doing anything that not only makes ME laugh, but others too,
then it is all worth it. By the way, did you have anything to do
with the Millenium Dome? And is it true a dinosaur lesbian would be
called a “Lickalotapuss”? I rest my case. Maybe you should not try
and sneak a peak at a really good mag eh luvver, you don’t have to
pick the NO BULL COLLECTION up now do you? Or do
you...........?
Finally, if YOU, the reader has any
REALLY funny pics, please send them in and we will, (after
pissing ourselves laughing) be happy to print them with a guarantee
that your name and address will be safe. Until then, stay happy,
stay hungry, train hard and remember most of all - FUCK ‘EM
ALL and enjoy life - we do.....!
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